Blog All Title

It's official, well not really...

Urban Box Office came up with an idea "Hey, let's translate the Star Spangled Banner into Spanish and give all of the right wingnuts a reason to get their panties all wadded up!"

Now, even the President has taken a stand on this important issue. I guess it's better than trying to figure out how to handle the mess he made in Iraq.

My take: We now will have two versions of our National Anthem that no one can sing!

I don't understand why everyone is so upset about this. This is something that will be played on a few Spanish radio stations for a couple of weeks. And, then we'll all forget about it (until the rap version comes out later next month).

All the people who are whining about this: Do you guys listen to the Spanish language radio stations that might play this? Heck, can you even find them on the radio dial? Basically, people are getting upset by something they'll never run across.

Come to think about it, how many of these red blooded Americans actually know the words to the National Anthem in English?

Oh say, can you see...
By the ...uh... something something something
Once so proudly we hail from twilights last gleanings
Whose broad stripes and bright stars, something something something
And the rockets red glare come bursting in air...

I really like this little tidbit found in the last verse of our National Anthem:

Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: “In God is our trust!”

Things like this is what got us into Iraq in the first place.

I say let's chunk the whole thing and go back to Yankee Doodle. It's something uniquely American, everyone can sing it, and I'd like to see them translate "doodle" into Spanish.

Does the Spanish version even contain the words coochie coochie?

Heard the great news? The Senate GOP are going to give each of us $100! That's enough to fill my SUV's gas tank.

Gosh, $100 x 100,000,000 families is 10 billion dollars. Wonder where they can find that much money?

I'm miffed! I bought my new Honda Odyssey minivan in time to go on the New Jersey Boy Scout Kinus. The Kinus is the annual Jewish gathering of all boy scouts from around New Jersey, and their families. We get to camp at NoBeBosCo which is -- and this is absolutely true -- where they shot the first Friday the Thirteenth movie. Since then, the camp has gone down hill quite a bit.

Anyway, there is a bike ride this year at the Kinus, and I was thinking of taking my bike along -- especially since I'm the one who's leading it. On weekends, when I go riding, I simply fold the backseat down, and throw my bike in. I don't even have to take off the front wheel. However, since the car will contain my whole family and a ton of camping supplied, I need a bike carrier.

Look at bike carriers. Surprise, surprise, not one will fit on the back of a Honda Odyssey. You see, the Honda's back tailgate has this little spoiler looking thing on it which prevents a bike carrier from attaching. The Toyota Seinna can handle a bike carrier and so can the Dodge Caravan, but the Honda? Noooo!

Alright, if I can't carry the bike on the back, I'll carry it on the roof. My car has a roof rack, but it doesn't come with the two metal crossbeams that you need in order to mount a roof top bike carrier. That's okay, Honda will sell me those two pieces of metal for only $249! Then, I get to pay another $200 for a bike carrier for two bikes. Grrrrr. The worst part is even once I do all of that, I still have to get the bikes on the rook of the minivan, and I have no idea how that is done. Plus, with the bikes on the roof, my van's clearance goes from 6 ft to 11 1/2 ft. Watch out for low tunnels!

The other choice is a hitch mounted bike carrier. That is, if my Odyssey has a hitch. That's about $300 for installation, and I've read a couple of accounts that a hitch mount is way too low on the Honda. My final choice is to take my Passat up two just to carry the bikes, or ask a friend to carry my bikes as well as their bike.

Okay, the Honda is a really nice minivan, but I still find this exercise frustrating. It's the little things like this that'll kill you in the end.

This story caught my eye: Sex Cues Ruin Men's Decisiveness. However, what caught my eye wasn't the gist of the story (Men can be distracted by pictures of sexy women. Yeah, tell me something I didn't know), but this one paragraph:

The men's testosterone levels were also tested - by comparing the length of the men's index finger compared to their ring finger.

If the ring finger is longest, it indicates a high testosterone level.

So, in other words, it doesn't have anything to do with ...uh... shoe size.

My sister found this one:

Life Energy Shield by Life Technology for only 179.95. A bunch of stuff about Nikola Tesla, Kirlian photography, energy, vibrations, tachyons, rubies, and sapphire crystals.

Yet, this life energy shield by REI is only $2.95. And, it comes in Red, Blue, and Gold too.

Instead of spending their time in a useful activity like writing grant proposals, Emory University scientists James Zimring and Gary Falcon not only have too much time on their hands, but access to a lot of neat equipment and dangerous chemicals.

Some guys have all the luck. The most dangerous thing I am exposed to at work is Windows XP.

As I already pointed out, The Green Lantern is called John Stewart, just like the host from the Daily Show. Okay, the first name is a bit different, but it's perty close.

A new Jon Stewart has now come to our attention. A car salesman, professional wrestler, and a Republican Candidate for the House in 2000. Known as "The Illustrious", this Jon Stewart is also a writer and a TV producer. Well, he's currently writing a book about his experiences, and he paid $35 to The Televisions Writer Vault to pitch his ideas to a real life TV executive.

This Jon Stewart is also an inspirational speaker too. We know that from an article in the Chicago Sun Times. Apparently he's good enough that a charter high school over yonder in Ogden, Utah thought to hire him for a fund-raiser at the Ogden Eccles Conference Center. Well, actually, the high school thought it was hiring the Jon Stewart of the Daily Show, but they liked him anyway.

Actually, when the found out, they hired the wrong Jon Stewart, they canceled and hired Johnny Biscuit instead. But, I'm sure that somewhere in the world, some one is actually interested in the Jon "The Illustrious" Stewart, and are dying to see him. Me, I'll just wait until his TV show comes out.

Jon Stewart (top). Not of the Daily Show

Apparently so! It all started a few months ago with a mysterious crash of a rather rare car. The person in the car, Stefan Eriksson apparently ran a company called Gizmondo in Sweden. This company launched a Gameboy like product that immediately crashed and burned.

Turns out that the company lost almost 300 million dollars of investor money in just in the course of a few months. Apparently, the only two games made for the Gizmondo were already developed, but the parent company, Tiger Telematics, apparently paid another company affiliated with Eriksson 3.5 million dollars to "develop". There was also a 100K per year car allowance for the executives. It appears that Tiger Telematics was simply a front company to fleece investors out of millions of dollars.

It now appears that Eriksson didn't even own the Ferrari he crashed. And, even stranger is Eriksson's involvement with a private police force. The police force belongs to the San Gabriel Valley Transit Authority. There are a few things you need to know about the San Gabriel Transit Authority: 1). They are not a government organization, but a private organization. 2). They have four para-shuttle vans they use to drive the disabled and retirees around San Gabriel Valley. 3). The whole agency is run out of Homer's Auto Service in Monrovia California., and finally the very best fact: 4). The San Gabriel Transit Valley Authority Police Force had a Homeland Security Department.

Apparently, it is very easy for transit authorities in California to create an official state recognized police force. So, the San Gabriel Transit Authority did just that. In the mean time, they also applied for quite a bit of federal Homeland Security funds which were to go to purchase expensive electronic security equipment by ...guess who... Stefan Eriksson.

An article in Game Revolution has a nice chart that points out the various connections. Gizmodo.com has a translation of two articles about Stefan "Fat Stefan" Erikkson and his friends.

To be fair, Ron Down Under has a response to the whole mess by Yosuf "Yo" Maiwandi, the head of the San Gabriel Valley Transit Authority.

Arafat Nijmeh, a Palestinian was arrested yesterday after making a series of threats on the Presidential ...uh... bully pulpit.

Good work, Federal agents! Of course, the guy might try to cop an insanity plea. And, thanks to those liberal activist judges, will probably get away with it too. Especially considering he lives in a mental institution!

Driver fights ticket for bumper sticker.